I have to move on

by

Hey Assalamualaikum.

 Today it's another post about LOVE. Yes. This little thing called LOVE. Amboi macam tajuk movie lah pulak kan hahaha kay.

 So you guys yang follow my twitter must've known about my crush. The dearest AS. Yeup. Well tbh I've been waiting for him since like a month or so. Yeah i know it's not long time. But to me, IT IS. Trust me. Waiting for someone who doesn't even responded to any of your actions is SERIOUSLY A LONG TIME. At first, I thought I'll be okay. I'll be waiting as long as I could. I thought I could wait a lil' more longer than this. But in the end, I couldn't. Plus, anons on Ask.fm keep telling me it's not worth it at all waiting for him. I mean like, I've been stupidly waiting but the guy? He never make any effort to at least, well appreciate me. Oh yeah there's this one anon even said that guy is a fool because he didn't see how faithful I am, waiting for him.

 Then, this morning, I dreamed about him. FIRST TIME. I dreamed about a guy, named Aliff Syukri. The guy I've been crushing hard on. I don't really remember what's the dream was all about but all I could recall was, he was so sweet and it feels like, we were a couple then. And when I woke up, the first thing I do was smile because the dream was sweet and adorable as ever but then, I cried. Because I felt like that was just a lie. A sweet lie. A thing that will surely never happen. NEVER. Than I remembered a psychology fact: If you dreamed of someone, means that particular person misses you. But I denied the fact because of ALIFF SYUKRI. I denied all the 'flowering' feelings in my heart because the person is ALIFF SYUKRI. I denied it all. I felt like everything is IMPOSSIBLE because the guy is Aliff Syukri.
I felt like a pathetic idiot.

 I've been thinking. What if, i stop waiting? What if, I move on? Like people said to me. So, I asked my best buddy, Umairah Ariff. And this is what she said to me,

kau tak boleh lemah meyza. jangan berharap benda yang tak pasti. may be God is making something lagi special untuk kau.
maybe dengan someone else. who knows ? kau tak nakkan disebabkan dy, kau tak boleh nak tumpu untuk benda lain. kau kena enjoy meyza.enjoy hidup. lagipun he's not your hubby yet. peluang kau masih panjang. cuba kau try happy. buat benda yang boleh relaxkan minda.lupakan masa lalu meyza, look forward, don't look back. dy hanyalah dugaan kau. for me, biar hilang someonejangan sampai kehidupan yang hilang. go meyza. do it. if dy memang untuk kau. takkan kemana. Allah akan tunjukkan jalan. kau kena banyak doa.

 I was like, Umai is totally right. Sampai bila lagi aku nak tunggu dia? He never cares. Never notices. While I'm hurting alone here. Forget the past Ameyza. Forget it. Like Umai said, LOOK FORWARD. God has plan something better for you. Live while we're young (amagawd this is what you get when you're reading a blog of a hardcore Directioner :3)

 Well, if he really is for me, then he will be. Lagipun, ingat tak apa yang kau pernah mintak dengan Allah?
"Jika dia memang untukku, maka dekatkanlah hatiku dengannya. Tapi, jika dia bukan yang Engkau tentukan untukku, maka jauhkanlah hati kami."

 A Doa taken from someone on the web. And maybe now, Allah buat macam ni sebab nak tunjuk that the guy is not the one for you. Everything happens for a reason, Ameyza. Allah won't make things happen without a good reason. Bear that in mind.
Wah, aku cakap gaya masalah besar je. Hahaha nvm. People has their own ways to spill things. And this is my way. Hmm.



The End xx
Assalamualaikum and Thanks for reading :)